Comments on: The No-Contact Rule and How it Works http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/ Sat, 27 Sep 2014 06:33:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.4 By: Ruby http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-4426 Mon, 22 Sep 2014 03:42:15 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-4426 To Boni – I’m 43 and have been strung along by the same man for 6 years. He was unfaithful and only made an effort when he needed money or support or comfort. I always made excuses for him because he had a pretty rough upbringing. Basically he was getting away with behaving like an inconsiderate and selfish a$$ while I was putting in all the effort and feeling used and hurt in the process. He had it damn good with me. He got to behave badly and I took him back each time. I’m the one who made it clear to him I was willing to be treated like sh!t, and so he treated me like sh!t. Its as simple as that. I just got to a point where I had enough of his cr@p. The fact is if a man loves you and wants you, he won’t constantly do sh!t that will risk your relationship. These men behave like this because they know the woman will come running back to them. If you’re being treated as an option instead of a priority, then you are not important to him and he is not worth your heart. Him telling you he needs to work himself out and keeping you on ‘hold’ is a way for him to keep you around in case he decides he wants sex or company – not a relationship. If he finds woman he actually wants to be in a relationship with during this time, you can bet your a$$ he will tell you that he’s done with you. He either feels you or he doesn’t, whats this “hold” bullsh!t? Sorry if I’m not sugar coating it but its best to hear it straight. The more time you waste on this man, the more chance there is that another 2 miserable years of your life will pass and you will be wondering why you didn’t cut it off when you should have. Trust me I know how hard no contact is, but you will not get over him while you are still in contact. You will feel like you’re coming out of your skin wanting to respond to him but Boni, if the situation is not making you happy, you need to move on. Don’t waste anymore time on this person and put your energy into finding one who will bring you joy in your life. Once I cut it off with my ex he would send emails and texts to me but I refused to respond. Its been many months now and even though I haven’t given him the time of day he’s still texting. It took a 2-3 months to get over the worst of it but I can tell you I have no desire now to respond to him anymore. I saw clearly after this time just what a selfish man he was and I’m glad I’m not wasting any more time with him. You can’t find a good man to have a future with while you’re waiting on this man to decide if you’re worth having a relationship with or not. Good luck and be strong.

]]> By: boni http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-4411 Mon, 15 Sep 2014 00:42:37 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-4411 I feel too old to be dealing with this. I’m 49 and have been dating this man on and off for almost 2 years. He has serious commitment issues and hasn’t told me he loves me, although I know he does. He has been seriously hurt in the past and has put us on “hold” while he figures things out. Meanwhile it’s driving me crazy. I’m blowing his phone up most of the time he ignores me. Yesterday he did respond, said he missed “us”…tonight i took him dinner. Bit then, he says he still needs time. somebody say something to give me some hope. This stinks. We’ve been on “hold” for just over 1 week. The NC rule is hard for me to stick to.

]]> By: Jodi Bianca Clarke http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-4194 Sun, 22 Jun 2014 08:48:06 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-4194 Hi, me and my ex broke up on the 12th of June I was upset and I did try and explain things to him and he wasnt having it. Two days later he starts dating someone else who his Mum set him up with which is her best friends daughter, I wasn’t too happy about that, then the Sunday I came to pick my stuff up as he said he would throw it away and stuff because of my friends getting involved, so i went there uninvited and we spoke but we kept hugging each other and stuff. Hut then I had to go because he was going to see that girl. Then the next day he called me sayig how we are not going to see eachother again. So then I started the no contact rule because I am deeply in love with him, I lost my virginity to him as well. But within the 5 days he has contacted me three times but I haven’t answered. I would even move closer to him so we can work things out because party why we broke up because I live in London and he lives in Suffolk, and I’m going to college soon and we won’t see eachother often and also the arguments we had because of distance. So now I want him so badly but he is with someone now, I don’t know if it is a rebound relationship or what. But we planned a future together, getting married, having children, I just don’t know what to do

]]> By: Jen http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-4161 Wed, 04 Jun 2014 06:13:35 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-4161 Hi Maricel,Emily &Di
I’m going through a similar situation. He needs some alone time to figure things out. He sees in me everything that he wants but he can’t commit even though he has tried. These are some of the things that were said. I am sad. I really loved him and we were happy.
Today will be day one of not contacting him -he contacted me recently and i responded :(.
This will be difficult but while I try my best, i wish you well.

]]> By: Emily http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-4153 Thu, 29 May 2014 18:50:12 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-4153 Hi maricel & Di,
My boyfriend of 3 years and really good relationship said the same stuff to me! He said I couldn’t say anything bad about you and I need to sort my self out and be alone :( what’s the update on you twos situation? Thanks xxx

]]> By: Di http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-4116 Tue, 06 May 2014 21:38:37 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-4116 Omg!!! This sounds just like my ex. I can’t believe how someone can love you so much let you walk away from their life. It’s extremely frustrating. I’m going through the same exact thing. Have you heard from him lately?

]]> By: Maricel http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-3290 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 02:00:51 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-3290 I actually sent him an email wishing him congrats on his new job and good luck with his life..I’m not gonna play games..it does not go with me :(

]]> By: admin http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-3288 Mon, 14 Apr 2014 00:46:04 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-3288 Hi Maricel,
I think you need to listen to your heart and follow it.

If you want to get him back….this is the guide.
http://www.herinterest.com/how-to-fix-a-relationship/
or
find yourself here…
http://www.herinterest.com/facts-about-rebound-relationships-and-how-to-have-one/

Good luck!

]]> By: Maricel http://www.herinterest.com/the-no-contact-rule-and-how-it-works/#comment-3275 Sun, 13 Apr 2014 21:27:20 +0000 http://www.herinterest.com/?p=3453#comment-3275 Hi I broke up with my ex a month ago..we saw each other last Sunday and tried to work things out he left Monday and I didn’t hear from him until Friday when he sent me this email.
What do you think,what he wants,should I reply or should I move on?
I love him but I don’t want to play mind games.
Advice please!!!
This was his email.

Don’t think for a second that I forgot your birthday or that you don’t cross my mind countless times a day because I didn’t and you do. I realized on Sunday after we talked that I’m not the person you want right now and I know you have your doubts too because you said as much. I just want you to know that I got that job and I hope that will help me get my head straight. This year burned me up and I had no energy left over for any kind of life or to give you what you deserve.

You need to know that I do love you very much and you’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. I couldn’t say anything bad about you if I tried and I truly believe you deserve all the happiness in the world I just don’t know if I can give that to you until I get right. I still have hope that this change is all I need and that maybe some day we’ll cross paths again and you can see me for who I really am. I don’t want to say goodbye, but all I can do at this point is leave that up to you. Even to just be friends with you right now would be enough for me.

Anyway, I love you Maricel and I hope you can forgive me and have best 30th birthday ever.

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